I'm falling in love, but in all minor keys

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Roomies

When it comes right down to it, every fledling has that impulse to travel away from the nest and relocate to their own private space. So with a couple hesitant tries we spread our wings and soar into the wilderness, inspecting every available tree branch until we find it. At first glance it isn't the perfect space, the bark looks a bit like it's spotted or peeling and the leaf canopy above can be a smidget discolored and probably should be fixed up at some point to prevent a rush of spiders and other unwelcome mini guests. Yet somehow the little unexperienced feet just seem to settle just right into that warm bark, and there's a tiny little space that holds endless potential. Sure it's a bit a cramped, but your two fellow fledlings don't seem to mind too much because there's one thing that you can call this quaint little space that makes it so much more special then you're parent's nest. My Home.
When the various pieces are relocated to your new space you find that everything quickly snaps into it's own special area. The sleeping areas are warm and plush with fluffy down and various padding for those who toss and turn or just get cold at night. The chill of the evening breeze becomes a welcome invitation to snuggle up and watch nature at it's finest. Even openings are now a picturesque view towards a perfect starry sky. Various elements decorate the walls and splash color into your cuddly den until it seems nothing could ever disrupt the peace.
With little to no warning you find yourself mimicking actions of your parents. When your fellow coinhabitors leave things on the floor you generally tend to pick them up and organize them back into their respective nooks and crannies. Beds are made every morning with almost little to no grumbling, food is stashed back into cupboards. Meals are made together in a Hallmark moment of laughter and silliness as one of you attempts to fashion something called a Queish.
Although making the food isn't easy and sometimes just isn't fun no matter who helps... you do it with no expectations of thank yous or gratitude... but are often plesantly surprised with gracious Yums and excited seconds.
Then there's the jubulent moments of ice cream, and fancy treats that while don't occur much... just seem to hold that special glow. So no, not everything is perfect in my apartment but that just makes it that much more exciting.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Falling From Enchantment

Such fairness in eyes so dark
They steal the breath from night
Oh silver tongue, do weave away
A quilt of sweet goodbyes
Raise your fist tempered dragon
Yet maidens still stand safe
The morning’s light will shine tonight
With every verse he makes
Gleaming scales of lessons learned
May serve to hide your heart
Yet no mistake will this maiden make
In that heart’s true delight
Oh but a weakness this hunter wields
In face so fair with viewing azure skies
Those skies take great delight in storms of might
Turning stone to flesh

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Lysdexic Wal*Martians Untie!

Okay, so working in one of the biggest corporate powers in the world has its obvious perks --- such as my paycheck which is significantly larger than most of my friends'. However, you also have to deal with those patrons who think they know what they're talking about (when they don't)... paste that sappy understanding smile on your face and pretend you like them (when you don't) and sucessfully mimic what is called "the customer is always right" (when that is not the case.)
So being the rational person I am, I thought it might be fun to let you in on some of the corporate lingo that takes place in customer interactions

"Did you find everything today?"

Now, to the casual observer this seems to be an inquiry as to the level of sucess in locating the specified objects on a list which may or may not be written down. However, the well-versed cashier knows that this cleverly disguised phrase actually means several things

-What didn't you find so that I can tell my manager and get that annoying grocery stock boy in trouble because he never does his job....
-Please don't yell at me, I am a human being, I have feelings and needs and really don't need your anger to be directed at me when it would be much more productive being directed at a manager.....
-By everything..... I mean the bare essentials. Did you find the bare essentials today
-Was anything out of stock? There's really nothing that I as a cashier can do much about, but I can sure smile and make you feel better.... maybe.
-I just said something cute, now it's your turn to smile and say a joke
-Okay this is a test, your response will be noted, taken into consideration and any and all future inquires will be based upon your answer... my tone, face, and even chipper demeanor will be slightly altered to make you feel ... more like a happy patron
-I really don't care who you are.... but i don't want to lose my job and i want that pay raise... so i'll pretend i like you, care about you, just so i can get some cold hard cash to afford what i want because deep down i am a very lonely person with 25 cats, 0 boyfriends/girlfriends, a lack of self respect, and a major identity crisis.


"Let me call a manager for you."

No, this isn't a statement which says i'm calling a higher authority, It's a way for us, as being lower on the walmartian scale to call someone who can charm and bewitch you with wonderfully nice phrases, a winning smile, and voice which is probably coated in mesmer.

-I have no clue what you just said, I don't speak FrenSpanaJapaglish
-I want you to be happy, and if yelling at my boss will achieve that, that's a risk i'm willing to let you make.
-Are you seriously mad about getting a jar of pickles with a label that's peeling?
-The ingeniously smart witty phrase that I was going to say just horridly backfired and i need backup.....
-This is a code Oh....Schnist! Calling for back up.... i need reinforcements stat!
-My conversation skills are officially flat lining and I dont' want you to hit me over the head with your brand new mop (which you aquired for a wonderful price of $9.99 in a easy to locate area...that you slipped in because you were running which is consequently a safety violation)

"Have a wonderful evening!"

By now you probably realize this isn't just a way of us saying enjoy your night. Although we do wish that too......

-Please, for the love of anything remotely holy, do NOT tell one more of those corny jokes.... Forcing one more laugh may literally kill me...... Seriously
-This is your cue.... STOP hitting on me and LEAVE
-My goodness.... your shvexy.
-If you want to talk to me again... you'll have to buy more crud you don't need. muahahaha!
-My manager isn't happy that it's taking 10 minutes to check you out.... and no i dont mean with my register.
-You're really grumpy, this is my last ditch effort to make you smile and maybe get a better look at life.

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Sunday, May 06, 2007

A Very Merry Un-Dry Day To You!

There was a flood in my town
My Town My Town
It was a grand flood in my town
My Town My Town

Five feet of water in the basement just for me
You see... because

There was a flood in my town
My Town My Town!

The people are not happy in
My Town! My Town!
The people are all angry in
My Town! My Town!

They're shouting at the mini lakes
Which used to be their yardssssss
Because it really really flooded in...

My Town!! My Town!!

Our neighbor lost his yard to
The big big lakes
It floated all the new grass
And all his stakes
He has to travel five blocks to find
To fiiiind
Just where all that water has left his yard
Behinddddddd

My boyfriend is still at
Wal-Mart Wal-Mart
His ruined guitar hero is breaking
His Heart! His Heart!
He works in the subway which consequently flood

Because our draining really sucks
In My Town! My Town!!

(Oh sing along!)

There was a flood in my town
My Town! My Town!
It was quite a grand flood in
My Town! My Town!

All the little children woke up suddenly find
That all the toys had floated and left them behind!

The flood was quite a problem in
My Town! My Town!
It caused a lot of people
Big frowns big frowns

Some guy is angry because he's got fourteen inches now
And he's unhappily shouting I hate
My Town! My Town!!

We're not used to water in
My Town! My Town!
We like our little droughts in
My Town! My Town!

All our fields are gone right now
They’re underneath our lakes
The good news is we won't be needing
Our rakes! Our rakes!

I’m going to end this song now about
Our town! Our town!
I have to help out
Around around

In the Corn Belt it's better not to expect the unexpected
Because our land looked at the water and it was
Rejected! Rejected!

So if you travel right now to
My Town! My Town!
Remember your poncho and
Don't Frown! Don't Frown!

A Very Un-Merry wet time in
My Town! My Town!
But that’s okay because we’ll still all love our little town
Next week we’ll laughing about the new record in
Our Town! Our Town!

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Saturday, April 07, 2007

Irony, Thy Name Be Sadist!

In the morning, when a normal person looks in the mirror, they see an imperfect being ready to make mistakes. Most people are okay with that, some aren’t. A sadistic being will see one of two things: a person ready to divide and conquer, or a heartless fiend eager to instill hurt. A pessimist will ultimately see the end of the world, a bad hair day, and the desperate need of a waxing without any of the time in which to do it.
I see me, a very imperfect being, lacking the essential tools of commitment for a long lasting and healthy relationship. There’s a short asain girl with dark brown hair staring back at me, wondering where the he** we went wrong and why on earth won’t my hair go the way it’s supposed to?
Looking at my friends, I figure I’ve got it pretty good, I mean out of all of them I’m the only one whose managed a somewhat sane relationship. I still have all of my individuality, and am still quite confident in my beliefs and practices. They get hurt by guys a lot, I celebrate with ice cream at break ups. Out of all of my boyfriends, not a single one has ever broken up with me. That’s almost weird.
Falling in love is impractical, it leads to senseless and impractical thoughts, usually coupled by a lack of work ethic and productivity. It’s hopeless and usually based on the "if you really loved me then.." phrase. I made a vow never to succumb to such stupid lowering of standards, or to break it off at first troubles because I don’t need that much chaos right now, and up until now, I’ve stuck to that pretty well. I date, I end, they hate me, life goes on.
Of course, I’ve never really known what it’s like, I mean how does it feel when you meet the person, and you look at them and some part of you just knows. You’d be willing to sacrifice almost everything for this person and spend the rest of your life with them. You’d be willing to change parts of you to make them happy or give up small parts of your dreams because they are the ultimate dream.
They may not be perfect, and you can see the shining imperfections but really that’s okay. You love them through their flaws, no matter what they do to you, no matter how many times it feels like they’ve stabbed you through the heart.
Here’s the funny/sadistic/horrid part. This same thing has happened to me, I have been toyed with like a small stuffed mouse in front of an angry spoiled kitten. My heart is that little catnip pouch that has just been stabbed, bitten, and ripped open to be exposed to someone’s own selfish needs. I can’t hate him or even really cry out in confusion because I understand it perfectly.
I can’t even have the glorifying feeling of directing misguided hatred at this person because deep down I know I’ve done the same thing. The most sickening part is I can understand it, I can understand this ripping of emotions and merciless cat and mouse game. I look at him, and even now I can still see the other as an enemy, but not him. Irony has had it’s evil little chuckle, and I can safely say that Karma "ain’t got nuttin" on sadistic Irony.
So yep, bloggers this is just me yelling out to the virtual universe. THIS ISN’T FAIR OR RIGHT. This is me screaming like a spoiled brat who didn’t get her way, because something isn’t working out, and there’s nothing I can do. This is me wishing desperately I was a different person and knowing full well that it won’t happen.
Sympathy is overrated. I don’t want that. This is just yet another endless vague rant of desperation. Thanks for reading, I appreciate it, even if we don’t know each other.

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