Tomcat Personality Syndrome
Characteristics: a significantly increased level of "macho chacho" behavior wherein the male feels inclined to behave in a manner unbecoming of a gentleman. Although it is especially common among the middle school crowd, it has been known to run quite rampant among elder teenagers, especially in the male gender. Should any member in your family be of the male gender, it is recommended have them tested regularly.
Symptoms (include but are not limited to): an odd gait termed as "strutting", sudden dismissal of fun activities appealing to both genders, increase in literature with words replaced by scantily clad women, complete personality warp resulting in aggression (fighting or vocal insults), a severe decline in manners, less patience for the slower things in life, an intense infatuation with cars (esp. muscle cars), and a grim determination for the attention of the "popular girl". Male will also feel the need to exercise more, often resorting to excessive weight lifting. In serious cases be on the look out for: Steroids, a sudden home gym, extensive visits to the local gym, sudden body mass, delusions of grandeur, large amounts of red meat consumed, a decline in consumption of healthy greens (the said greens may be referred to as "rabbit food" by the subject in question), a sudden habit of jutting out one’s chin, and the developed (if not OCD) habit of practicing a certain walk, talk, hand motions, clothing style, and in some cases haircut length and style. WARNING: TPS is EXTREMELY contagious and has been known to contaminate males who come in contact with subject! Subject will resist any and all cures due to the desired image and fantasy of this image being brought to life. Subject may feel compelled to work out more and buy another car, in cases such as these immediate hospitalization is required! In most cases one may try: logic, rationalization, bribery, or the ever popular set up with sweet and innocent "girl next door."
Symptoms (include but are not limited to): an odd gait termed as "strutting", sudden dismissal of fun activities appealing to both genders, increase in literature with words replaced by scantily clad women, complete personality warp resulting in aggression (fighting or vocal insults), a severe decline in manners, less patience for the slower things in life, an intense infatuation with cars (esp. muscle cars), and a grim determination for the attention of the "popular girl". Male will also feel the need to exercise more, often resorting to excessive weight lifting. In serious cases be on the look out for: Steroids, a sudden home gym, extensive visits to the local gym, sudden body mass, delusions of grandeur, large amounts of red meat consumed, a decline in consumption of healthy greens (the said greens may be referred to as "rabbit food" by the subject in question), a sudden habit of jutting out one’s chin, and the developed (if not OCD) habit of practicing a certain walk, talk, hand motions, clothing style, and in some cases haircut length and style. WARNING: TPS is EXTREMELY contagious and has been known to contaminate males who come in contact with subject! Subject will resist any and all cures due to the desired image and fantasy of this image being brought to life. Subject may feel compelled to work out more and buy another car, in cases such as these immediate hospitalization is required! In most cases one may try: logic, rationalization, bribery, or the ever popular set up with sweet and innocent "girl next door."
posted by Mikira James at
4:41 PM
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