I love you

The phone was surprisingly light, a deadly feather clutched tightly in my sweating palms. My fingers felt awkward and huge, dialing the number slowly, carefully. The ringing sounded in my ear, I dreaded his voice, pleading it would not sound, yet at the same time, a gleeful wish that it would. "Leave A Message".
My mind was a blank, stupidly i sat there while they stared, what the hell would i say to this kid? I could hear my voice saying things, stupid things, and without a second thought to the matter i said it. "Call me back on my cell at ***-**** I love you!" Before i could press the end button, laughter sounded, how ridiculously easy that was. How simply he would think it was a joke. How much i wished he wouldn't think that. Finally I had just said what took me almost three years to even think of uttering. "I love you". This beautiful friend would never know what i truly thought, he would always think i simply meant it as a joke. How painfully wrong he was.
Alas, the lover in my dreams, is forever destined to be a friend in my arms.
The phone was a rock, weighing heavily in my hand, a burden of untold emotional trauma.
Grinning, i laughed with my friends as if i had just told the greatest joke in the world. Masking what I truly thought... Let them think i was insane about David or madly in love with Tyler. Let them think i adored Matt and secretly desired Mike. But let them never find out i had returned to an old, unrequinted love.